Getting close to the phone and how I wish I can randomly message someone.
Talk crappy stuff.
But I hesitated.
So I didn't.
I felt lonely at that very moment.
But I needed to remind myself that I will be fine,
that habit does kill you at times.

Having to have sisters I used to able to talk to them anything and anytime,
and suddenly I had to hold it back.
The eyes that they gave me on how weak I am,
or how useless I am,
or even how terrible I am.
I don't have the rights to say anything in the house.
People move on with their lives,
Again, I'm always too slow to realize it.

Rumors or truth.
I am not the kind of person who can justify it.
I'm silence and I'm never good in speaking.
So just let it be, let the hurt continues and let the tears fall.
Cause immunization is something I hope it can faster come.

My career, my money, and my ability of not being able to justify myself,
Do affect the confidence I used to have.
I used to stand high,
but it all started dropping.
A fear of not having the sense of belongings.

At times, I love God for protecting the people around.
At times, when I felt that I needed to be sacrificed for others togetherness, I hesitated my prayers for not adding a point of making me even stronger to handle it.
I will be fine feeling the pain again and again, send my prayers to the world but do provide me with a stronger heart to withstand it.