love, care and compassion

When you sit and come to think wisely,

Everything is really fine.

It is really fine.

The earth is a weird place to live.

You care those that don't care,

and you neglected those who cares.

As much as I felt annoyed with the people who are not appreciative of my care,

as much as I start to realize all those people that cares so much for me.

I simply posted my stress my worries,

and for a moment i almost forgot the people that used to be by my side since day one :) 

It is a weird place,

and probably you never know the people who are always saying their blessing for you,

while you are doing it to others who also will not know. 

Is a chain,

the chain of love, care and compassion.

I made mistakes in life, 

and I learnt and I tend to forget,

that's why it keep happens. 

To feel less, 

and that's probably the answer to life's 3 poison, 

Greed, Anger and Ignorance. 

I feel too much, 

that's probably why I care too much.

I feel too much,

that's probably why I expected too much.

To the World beings,
be appreciative and be rightful.
You don't need to let the whole world know how great you are.
But to yourself,
you are made of pieces of diamonds that shine beautifully on a small spot,
and pricey when you are needed ;)

My hunting days with ...Life ~ xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoox

part of life =)

For some reason, 

some fates are the same,

some destiny has been arranged,

and some challenge was given.

As much as how she feels, how hard her life is,

I somehow understands.

I somehow told her it would happen before it happen,

and yes it did happen.

We can't change the destiny we were given,

cause it will still be there to happen it again and again,

until we find our best remedy.

I had this dilemma for quite some time,

but it should remain in silent until I m clear what these pieces are telling me.

Liking a guy you should never like,

is like taking medicine that gradually deteriorates your kidney.

You serve him well,

and you know he has a millions that serves him well too.

You felt joy with him,

and you know it's just impermanence. 

You put him high up,

and you know u are just a sub root of his choices.
You give it in for him,
and you know he only sees u when you are needed.

Is just probably the history we had in life,

the lack of care or love in our past life,

we never had a normal family that protects us tightly,

and when lacking exists,

desire appears :) 

the desire for love and affection.

My dear, 

you know life still goes on ~

whatever happens Jiejie will find the best healer for the both of us,

just right until I am capable of. :) 

and I m pretty glad that God sent you with me.

We don't suffer together ~do clarify this !

but let's grow together :)

I'm sure there is a turning point in our stories one fine day !

God bless ;) ! <3 <3

:)

God is great

You know what is great ?

Yes God is great !!! <3

Test postpone again~ which I never thought it would.

Now, I could see my idol in peace,

no longer do i need to stand the guilt I will have for having fun a day before test.

Then, mood-less when you can't find anyone to accompany you for a meal, 

you went through that super terrible haze with an API of 168 Gosh!!

Can I just not eat ?!! 

Fine, you had to eat cause if you don't you start craving for food at night -.- 

Then TADA ! 

Aunty gifted me a meal,

I wanted to pay but she insisted.

Super lovely.

O yeah ~ the mood is back !

when you feel that is someone who actually cares. 

Cheers

Sometimes, it's just a miracle.

Most of the time, things happens unintentionally.

and Often I was protected somehow by my God ~

I was not given with a lot of things but I was given with tiny bits of blessings

Blessings that allow me to walk gradually in life. 

I get satisfied easily,
cry easily,
touched easily,
So what ?
Is just part of life I guess.............................................

I never intently wishes for anything.

I pray and I always believe God will be there.

He will protect us somehow somewhere.

He gives me my super down sorrow killing suffocating days,

and He will also give me my lucky happy interesting and awesome moments.

Please continue to bless me ~ 

even if the world thinks I'm ugly, God says I am not :) 

Om Mani Padme Hum <3

Terrible haze, No water in housing areas, airplanes missing....
Everyone please pray hard :) 

Devil and Angel do speak

Every single day is a challenge in life,

you meet obstacles out of no where,

cause probably Devils and Angels do exist.

When you are forgotten,

The Devil tells you how unimportant you are,

and if the Angel would to help,

then is another different story.

When you started to lose someone,
then you would realize how important that person is to you.
When she's around,
she gives you the aura,
indeed she has everything perfectly well.
A family, a relationship, friends ....... the brain, the appearance, the attitude......
In reality,
there must be someone who is at a higher class and someone who is at a lower class,
and that's what fits each other pretty well.
Being at the lower class,
you always wish to make yourself up there,
you get jealous,
you became annoyed,
you gradually losses your friend,
and if this feeling continues....
you are just making yourself as lowly as you never thought you would.

I personally went through it,
there are those days when you know, you are only needed when she asked you,
and there are those days when she could never even bother of how you think,
and definitely it is those days when the world just runs around her. ~Devil speaks
On the other side,
You did made her strong in a way that she is never alone,
You did offer any possible help you could.
She don't show her appreciation but it doesn't mean she is not appreciative for it.
She protects you from harm that you unforeseen, don't she ?! ;) . ~Angel speaks

As low as people may see me,
it should not really matter :) .
because as long as you keep your principle right,
stay bright and high in yourself.
Class status is what jobless people do.
Class status is what people sees.
'Don't live under people's eyes'
Get yourself right and
You will be fine in the long run :) ~ Angel speaking

#getting rid of some negative thoughts

xGO  AWESOME ! JOJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOx

Suddenly misses her
June, I m so sick of studying ~~~~

万岁

友人说，

不管活得怎么辛苦，

都要过的充实点。

勇敢的快乐，

勇敢的哭。

我感动因为有人明白，

我感动因为感觉不是一个人的挣扎。

了解我一副爱面子的女王，

一直保守女王的秘密。

友谊是一个奥妙的事，

虽然他不是你很好的朋友，

但他却比好多人了解。

所谓：同命的感触 

女王感触好多，

想很多，

伤心时像即死的人一样，

开心时像癫患一样，

也许这是一种娱乐，

人生的娱乐。

佐佐之站 xp

A peace mind makes things right =)

感觉自己打拳好像在背formula.
打得不够flexible,
脑筋好像转的太慢啦 ！ > <

Anyway 小不点好像平静了一点，
生活暂时没有汹涌的波涛，
也许是咒语的魅力吧,
或是心太累的关系。

Waking up early in the morning and chant,
it does took up some of my time,
as being a beginner i chant pretty slow.
But i believe is something pretty helpful,
helpful for me to last my days with less of frustration.

I did not had enough sleep and usually i turned into a monster getting annoyed.
Today I was given another challenge.
Anger was stirred up by someone,
I got annoyed I did speak out for my rights,
walking out the room,
I realize I was wrong.
I suppose to be calm in voicing out.
It reminds me of 菩提心 my friend used to taught,
see others with that Buddha in them,
and you will come to realize everyone is to be forgiven.
Then with that mind,
I realize everyone around is fine =) no longer a demon i used to encounter.

小不点也再次鼓起勇气跟爸爸讲话。
luckily it turn up well.
Communication is the key to a lot of things.
Is probably the strength of chant or is just that my mind has come to some peace
that i was able to accept whatever daddy will say.
I miss daddy's soft voice talking to me.
I m glad I made the decision to talk to him :) and I did really miss him.


Life may turn to somehow a little boring when you starts feel less.
But is probably alright.
I turn up when my friend look for me,
I will always try to be there when they ask me to,
I feel happy for their joy for their achievement,
I try to help when help is needed,
even when I am not needed,
I stay alone to learn how to love myself.
That's probably life and growth in the right way.

My brother always question me,
'Why would I always want to live under people's shadow?'
For that, I always wanted to answer him that living under people shadow u compassionate others and you made peace when you blend into other's life. That's probably how two family in a roof can come together.
But, recently, I realize why he always stops me from doing so.
Cause It is something that kills me gradually.
Yes you may be fine with everyone but ...
When there is no longer a shadow you can get into,
you lost yourself, lost your direction,
as if that you are no longer helpful or useless.

My friends are good,
I have a sister by me,
and I have a mother that is working so hard waiting for me =)
Is still very important to really learn to LOVE myself even more :)

请继续保佑陈佐佐~ <3
为众生发菩提心

A new learning

这么一消失，
现在的自己比较稳了下来。

Yes, I am blessed.
Blessed to witness and experience Kadhampa and The Holiness.
It indeed feels like home.
Daddy used to say to me,
'people who goes into religion are weak'
and yes I do agree with it,
I am weak so I seek help.
And when you managed to get help,
you became stronger.
O yeah to correct a slight misunderstanding .... Buddhism is a teaching and not a religion.

Every thing may happen very coincidentally,
like test was postponed a day before i depart,
as for that i was able to attend my teachings in peace.

Things that I learnt:

1) peaceful heart, open heart with brightness and learn things the correct way
心静，管好自己心，心胸大，光亮圆

2) to train self patience , be patience ! that one fine day everything will be fine, will be better.
培养能耐

3) life is about the unstoppable growth, the growing process is vital. with ru li de zhi hui(wisdom), and less of fear, make things happen ..... never afraid to grow :)
不断成长

4) To be brave, initiative to ask to seek to take action, owned a heart that filled with hope even there is only the slightest hope left.
 无为无惧-自动自发-内心充满希望

5)also to deal things or situation based on the reality.
看着现实处事

6)do the best and you will eventually able to spread the great energy to others and that includes my family who i can help much.为众生

6) expand your wisdom
广大智慧

These may be just basics, but is probably a good start after all.
To listen to the Holiness, I feel great.
To be able to see Him, I feel awesome.
I wan learn it well , yes indeed.
It is probably my right remedy to all my troubles to all my desires.
Please again bless me in my road, my journey.
The struggle I will have doing it alone,
The struggle I will face with language difficulty,
The struggle I will have with unexpected doubts,
The struggle I have with time and impatience,
The struggle and the struggles.


Not to forget in mentioning something good ..... I'm pretty blessed to meet someone who can be there with me.
For giving me so much of opportunities.
For giving me lots of courage to do the things i feel comfortable with.
For assisting me when he can.
From the very first day we met,
I know YOU are a blessing to me  :)
good or bad, is somehow something for me to grow with it.
He reminds me a lot of my brother who used to love and protect me.
Many of the times, I shed the tears for not having my brother around me.
How much I wish he could be on same path with me.
But today this very special God gifted guy taught me something - ‘随喜’
I should be happy for the girl my bro had beside him,
I should be happy for him being happy with his religion.
Is about accepting and giving. :)

and for this very best bro-buddy of mine,
I believe i will see history repeats again for the urge he has for a girlfriend.
It may hurts again but i will 随喜 :)
Good Luck to U !
and thank you very much for being there.........

Om mani padme Hum ~~

小王子要加油

你让我心烦，又让我不能专心。

奇怪的暗恋，
一直让我想，
要为你做些什么，
怎样才可以疏解你的压力。

不怎么认识你。
只在远处支持、保佑你。
希望你可以好一点。
在那么一天，你叫了我的名字，
非常让我惊讶，
心里很开心，
但好丢脸，
因为今天的自己是一面很丑样，
因为帮了朋友治疗后，
自己累了，
也不怎么打扮。
好丢脸，非常丢脸:'(

喜欢你的低调，
喜欢你的安静，
喜欢你的稳重，
喜欢你的伶俐，
也蛮喜欢你的傻样，
像个老板，
让我想起曾经保护我的哥哥。

一直看着你办活动，
很想参与，很想帮你，
但我好像找不到时间，
也好像没那个勇气再挑战。
我会一直默默的保佑你。
你要加油！

Changing pavements

Dilemma again ~

Should I give up
or should i continue and tell my stories in future.

The messy home,
the lack of a foundation,
no longer a place i can hold on.

Life still goes on ~
If time is turned back 5 years ago.
I should have left home earlier.
then, I might not have the opportunity to study what I like,
but at least I will have less worry.
People says depends on your family,
they will bring you up.
But that's never for me.

No one knows the story,
neither will I want to talk about it.
I just really needed some peace.
some peace in mind.

I want to leave, to a place that no one knows me.
to a place to start a new life.

And what's really holding back ?